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[R36 Travel Guide] The "Kick Me" Promotion


  • edited December 2016
    Already the frightening speed with which outlanders manage to acquire new skills has proven alarming to native Novians. Now, however, outlanders have become so efficient at resource gathering that they completely dominate retail trade, both as vendors and customers. With so many new shops springing up, increasingly inventive and bizarre methods are being dreamed up to attract buyers. 

    The most obvious example of this is the latest marketing strategy adopted by Nate Shill. Mr Shill owns a recently opened store that specialises in plate armour. In order to attract customers, he is offering a 25% discount on all his goods for anyone who agrees to wear the following sign on their back for one month after purchase:

    "I bought this amazing armour at Nate's Plate.
    It is impregnable.
    Go ahead, kick me!"

    Many have accepted this offer, and many more have responded to the signs, with reports of people suddenly being propelled into the harbour or plunging head first into a manure cart. Most of those who carry the sign are unperturbed, agreeing that such inconveniences are a small price to pay for such a substantial discount.

    Others however are not so philosophical. A small but militant group of angry consumers are claiming that this campaign discriminates against them, as they have no intention of ever wearing plate. "Where is the 'Kick Me' promotion for cloth armour?" they ask, ignoring the fact that Mr Shill does not sell cloth armour. 

    Meanwhile, Nate Shill has made so much money from increased sales that next month he intends to reduce his trading time to one hour every second Wednesday.

  • LOL!

    uh... last sentence has 'that' twice

    great story!
    i'll be on the lookout for those signs :)
  • Thanks Sophi. Fixed!

  • Only one nit-pic this time...

    No comma here.
  • Thanks Vyrin.
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