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- Vyrin & Womby

The Thief

edited December 2016 in SotA Poetry
Remember that event you saw?
The blood, the pain, the rage, the fear?
While you were focused on the gore,
I stole an item you hold dear.

Remember also Ravenswood?
You didn't see me lurking there.
It was unlikely that you could
for I had taken extra care.

I've followed you from place to place
taking items from your pack.
I feel I know you more and more
as every day your path I track.

I treasure all those things I stole.
I hold them and I think of you.
These feelings take a mounting toll
as past adventures I review.

Last night when you went to bed,
you locked the doors and tried to hide.
You didn't know I'd gone ahead
and was already there inside.

As I stand and watch you sleep,
I realise that I'm not so smart.
For while your treasures I now keep,
with great finesse you stole my heart.

Comments

  • omg, LOL

    nice poem!
    :D
  • This is amazing.... an awesome poem.  I love the tie-ins to the game and the great twist.  You have a way with verse... so more more!

    Punctuation falls under poetic license here, so  I would just make a general decision about which punctuation you want.  Leaving out commas altogether is possible.
    Looking at the straight sentences this is what you would add.

    While you were focused on the gore
    Comma

    I treasure all those things I stole
    Period or comma

    Then last night when you went to bed
    Comma

    As I stand and watch you sleep
    Comma

    For while your treasures I now keep
    Comma
  • Thanks Vyrin. Changes made.
  • This is awesome, Womby.
  • This is awesome, Womby.
    Thank you. At least this time there are no spiders involved. :)

  • This poem comes to mind now when I am reading the SotA forum, Womby.

    Art influencing my experience of critique on virtual reality... oh dear! How many layers does this onion have?
  • LOVE.
    it!  
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