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- Vyrin & Womby

Macabre Love Letter (not sure if this is correct category!)

To: The Archavist, 

Ardoris Royal Library


From: The Royal Navigator,

Novian Archeology Society


This letter was found in the ruins of an old keep [location to be included later].  The curious thing is that it was found in a small area, about 3 yrds by 3 yrds that had been completely bricked in at some point.  There were 2 human skeletons inside, one male, one female.  Other than some remnants of clothing this letter was the only other item in the small room.  It was found in the state you see, torn and water damaged, clutched in the male skeleton’s hand.



My heart’s true desire,

How i have missed you and continue to miss you.  Every breath I draw is harder without you.  Your warmth, your wit, your dear voice.  Oh that voice, so perfect it pierces my heart.  How much I yearn to speak with you every day.


And when we do meet by chance… it is so hard, to be only polite. So hard sometimes that truly I  think I hate you.  Until I remember words spoken, choices made.  


Regret is a harsh thing to bear.


Irony as well.  For I have altered the behavior you found so offensive in any case.  And so I laugh at myself until I have no more tears to shed.  The price of my ambition is my heart, and yours.  The price is too high.


I do not know how much longer I can bear this.  I do not know what to do.  Sometimes my heart aches so badly that I think it will indeed break.


I do not know how to say these things to you.  I tell myself I would understand if you do not wish to be with me. My heart would not understand.  I have only myself to blame for pushing you away, and so I should not fault you for moving on with your life.  Yet I would fault you in my heart.  My heart is yours still, it remains unchanged.  There is no power on this earth that can change that.  It is my ambition that has been our enemy.


I cause pain to someone any way I turn.


I resolve to leave him twice and three times every day, and yet something holds me back.

Perhaps I lack some sign from the universe.  Perhaps I fear it.


But I can no longer live without you. Send to my by this same messenger, he is trustworthy, and if you still want me, I will come to you in three days for he is due to be away.


I burn to hear your reply.


[illegible signature]


Comments

  • Very powerful. I love the fact that it gives me a great framework upon which to layer my own imagined scenarios, and the motivation to do so. I am left wondering, and that is a good thing. Food for the imagination is my favourite repast.


  • Womby, you have a great way of expressing yourself!

    Sophi, I agree with Womby.  It is macabre.  It allows you to invent a whole twisted scenario for how they ended up bricked in... one of them? both of them in some suicide pact? the jealous husband?  I love it.

    Here are my comments, as always provided to let your wonderful creativity shine!

    The first suggestion is that I originally though I was reading man's note to the woman, until I realized it was the woman's not to the man when she said "resolved to leave him" and then my perception was jarred.  Is there some way you can indicate the direction of the letter at the beginning?

    Other than some remnants of clothing this letter was the only other item in the small room.

    Don't forget those commas after introductory phrases!  Here after clothing.

    How i have missed you and continue to miss you.

    Simple typo: I.

    it is so hard, to be only polite

    Although I'm telling you to use commas more, here you need to take this one out haha.  The phrase "to be only polite" modifies hard so don't separate it off.

    Send to my by this same messenger, he
    is trustworthy, and if you still want me, I will come to you in three
    days for he is due to be away.

    I think you need an object after send.  Maybe "Send word to me..."? 
    Also the sentence would be better if you took out the and, put a period after trustworthy.

  • edited June 2015
    Awesome, thank you Vyrin :)

    glad you liked it Womby!
  • Ok here's the revision.   I couldn't figure a way to indicate the writer is the female without it sounding contrived.... after all both the author and the recipient know who's who...

    I think I fixed all the errors you caught.



    To: The Archavist, 

    Ardoris Royal Library


    From: The Royal Navigator,

    Novian Archeology Society


    This letter was found in the ruins of an old keep [location to be included later].  The curious thing is that it was found in a small area, about 3 yrds by 3 yrds that had been completely bricked in at some point.  There were 2 human skeletons inside, one male, one female.  Their positions indicate they were embracing one another.  Other than some remnants of clothing, this letter was the only other item in the small room.  It was found on the floor near the remains.



    My heart’s true desire,

    How I have missed you and continue to miss you.  Every breath I draw is harder without you.  Your warmth, your wit, your dear voice.  Oh that voice, so perfect it pierces my heart.  How much I yearn to speak with you every day.


    And when we do meet by chance… it is so hard to be only polite. So hard sometimes that truly I  think I hate you.  Until I remember words spoken, choices made.  


    Regret is a harsh thing to bear.


    Irony as well.  For I have altered the behavior you found so offensive in any case.  And so I laugh at myself until I have no more tears to shed.  The price of my ambition is my heart, and yours.  The price is too high.


    I do not know how much longer I can bear this.  I do not know what to do.  Sometimes my heart aches so badly that I think it will indeed break.


    I do not know how to say these things to you.  I tell myself I would understand if you do not wish to be with me, yet I would.  I have only myself to blame for pushing you away, and so I should not fault you for moving on with your life, and yet I would.  My heart is yours still, it remains unchanged.  It is my ambition that has been our enemy.


    I cause pain to someone any way I turn.


    I resolve to leave him twice and three times every day, and yet something holds me back.

    Perhaps I lack some sign from the universe.  Perhaps I fear it.


    But I can no longer live without you. Send to me by this same messenger, he is trustworthy.  If you still want me, I will come to you in three days for he is due to be away.


    I burn to hear your reply.


    [illegible signature]


  • This is great, there is no jarring anymore from thinking it was written by the man.  As far as I can tell, it's good to go... great work!
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